Tom's Secret messages...

Contrary to popular belief, Tom's little messages (j/k, jk ray, joking) aren't about being kidding or joking. They containing many codes that are hard to crack, but with a nut cracker (Notorious Unicorn Telecommunicator Code Reader and Chocolate Kandy Eating Regurgitater) you can crack the codes. What is a NUT CRACKER... It is simply a unicorn hooked up to a voice activated dialing telephone that cracks codes that are hard to crack. It also regurgitates chocolate for you making it more enjoyable because since vitamins are abosorbed in the stomach all nutrition value is removed from the candy making it more enjoyable because things that are bad for you taste good! Now... back to the more practical use. In my so secret it doesn't exist on record lab in the valley of nowhere we invented the nutcracker. The unicorn cracks the code tells the message with a phone to A vicious talking ape, which stands for (Voice Interpreting CI Of UnicornS talking ape) The vicious talking ape tells us what the unicorn says so that way me and my team of skilled scientists learn what the message means. Of course we had a fight in court with animal rights activists to be able to do this. The NutCracker and Vicious Ape helped us learn what Tom Shannon is saying...

J/K ....................means.............Jealous and Krazy (of world dictators)
JK RAY..............means.............Jumping Krazily because Rachael i Adore You(r knowledge of warfare)
Just Kidding......means.............. I love world domination

So as you can see Tom obviously has some plot to take over the world with a sort of monarchy and an army of rabid rabbits that constantly multiply for reinforcements and Chicken special ops forces. He also has a plot to kidnap rachael with a very large butterfly net and make her become the Chicken general. Our first suspicions began when Tom said war is one of the best things in life. we also have a secret spy photo of Tom Shannon playing ping pong with Kaiser Wilhelm later to be posted.